Uncle's Rant

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

The Spam Tin Day 1: Your future, nut rush

Todays spam comes from little Bridgett Conner. It reads:

  • Even if you have no erectin problems SOFT CIA5LIS would help you to make BETTER SE6X MORE OFTEN! and to bring unimagnable plesure to her.

Well Bridgett that's very interesting, and even though I must admit to not having "erectin" problems, mainly because I do not know what an "erectin" is I really must say I would be intrigued to find out how to bring "unimaginable pleasure to her", whoever she may be... maybe she is you. Grrrrrrrrr.

  • Just disolve half a pil under your tongue and get ready for action in 15 minutes.

This "pil", does it go under my tongue before or after I brush my teeth?

  • The tests showed that the majority of men after taking this medic ation were able to have PERFECT ERDECTION during 36 hours!

Is "medic ation" like dedi-cation, you know like Roy Castle used to sing about at the end of that show? 36 hours of "PERFECT ERDECTION" could be a little long for me and I don't really like Steven Seagal movies, particularly not at that length.


You really should get your copy checked before spamming so many people. Did you know 40% of all internet sales are lost due to bad spelling and grammer leading to buyer confusion? If you learn nothing else today, learn how to use a spell checker.

Finished with the sales schpiel, Bridgett then goes on to try to build some rapport with her customer by telling me a story...

  • =========and one day they will see what you see. Forgive them, and help them to that the rescue squad had climbed into their helicopter, the firemen were Arkady and Boris Strugatsky Translated from Russian by Antonina W. and started explaining his graviconcentrate phenomenon to me--that is, the The clouds broke apart, his escorts called, "Happy landings, year. I'd been with him from the start, but I still wasn't quite sure what "... thousands and thousands of gulls. I know. " Sullivan shook his like a snap. Just throw the nut and be on with it.

Hmmm. I'm struggling to follow you here Bridget. Let me just recap. There's a rescue squad, a couple of firemen, a Russian translator and thousands and thousands of gulls... are you talking about that Steven Seagal flick again? When you say "Just throw the nut and be on with it", I really couldn't agree with you more.

Dearest Bridgett, I thank you for your offer and as tempting as it may be I really do think it smells of yesterday's shit.


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