Uncle's Rant

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Celebrity Gaffers

It's been a while since my last post and for that I appologise and my only excuse is that it took a while to find a certain picture I needed to make my point, and after all that I still didn't find what I wanted.

Yes that's right folks, today I'm having a dig at Charlotte Church.

Not at her music, on the contrary I'm not a fan but I believe she has made a very difficult leap between her styles of music reasonably successfully.

Not at her hyper-celeb lifestyle either, the press handle that one well enough.

I would like to concentrate on her video for her latest song - "Call My Name".

Now I did try and get a screen grab from the video on her website which can be seen here- Call My Name, but ufortunately it was impossible hence the mock-up you see in this post as an example.

Just what the heck is going on with the lighting when she is dancing around with the dancers, she's only lit from the tits up! The other dancers are lit correctly so what on earth is going on.

I deduce it's one of 3 things:-

1. Her own people looked at the shot and whispered to the DP - "Charlotte's looking a little chunky can we mask it off a bit?"

2. Charlotte herself was feeling a little vulnerable in that skimpy outfit and she insisted on not going in front of the camera without help from the lighting department.

3. Or maybe it was just it a gaffer who took it upon themselves to light her that way whilst nobody was looking..."You know what, this shot would look really good if Charlotte was only lit from the tits up"

Whichever one it is, I say it's bloody rude.

If it is Charlotte that was feeling self aware, I say to her don't be ashamed of what you have to offer under the udders, don't go hiding it in the shadows, skinny celebs should be the ones doing that, instead set it free for the world to admire.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

The Second Coming

Yes that's right folks the lamb had a second outing last night - cold lamb and a variant on the mash from the sea bass dish the other night with roasted carrots instead of peppers and brussel sprouts (posh bubble and squeak!).


Of course today I've had a terrible case of the screaming squits and I blame the lamb.

I'm not going to that bloody butcher again, I don't care if his lamb is well hung.

Monday, October 17, 2005


Ask anybody in the media business if they have faith in what they see on our teleboxes and they'll all give the same answer - "No way!"

Being fed twisted tales, skewed perspectives and disinformation is what makes up our daily injection of so called TV truths. All it takes is a simple tinting of the image, a shot of somebody crying and a downbeat reporter and even the happiest news report can be contorted into something that doesn't convey the truth.

Of course the power often lies with the simple old editor.

Check out these examples passed onto me earlier by Tim Clague.

I particularly liked the re-edit of the trailer for The Shining:-

The Shining

West Side Story


Imagine how shocked you'd be if you turned up to see ol' Stanley's horror masterpiece thinking it was a romantic comedy!

Sometimes us people in TV/film-land have too much power... or maybe just too much time on our hands.

Fully Roasted!

Here it is folks, the golden joint.

I admit it, it was one of the greatest, most tender joints of lamb I've ever tasted but was it worth the cash? As a one off now and then yes but I'm too tight for that most of the time so next weeks roast will be coming from Sainsbury's I'm sure.

If anyone is interested here's the recipe:-

Slow Roast Lamb

It's a really simple recipe and incredibly successful every time.

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